What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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