I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
