erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
