She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
