I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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