I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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