every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
