I wish i was in the wii world.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize