Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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