So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
