the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
