They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
