He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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