If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize