He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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