the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
