Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize