he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
