When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize