lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There's always time for handjobs
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
