I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
