You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
