I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Randomize
