Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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