They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
