I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
