before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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