I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
