all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
