So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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