is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
