id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
