I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
