It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I want a musical about memes.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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