i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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