He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's never too late to be topless.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
