As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
