Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
