We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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