It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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