tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
