Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
nutella sex= disaster
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
