i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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