he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
