Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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