I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
