It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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