If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
