You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
