her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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