i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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