I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
