im gay
i know
yea but for you.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
