We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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