omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
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