Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I AM VODKA MAN
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
