i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My dick has a subreddit
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
