I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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