Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
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