My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
