I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
