The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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