Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
