Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
where am i from again
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
