The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the day after is always just damage control
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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