One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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