Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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