What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
PS: I just woke up from my shower
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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