He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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