maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
