Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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